Big grilles are overrated

I am going to start off this post with a blanket statement that might be shocking to some, but hear me out before you stop reading. Every year, cars get better. “What?” you say, all your life having yearned for a classic mustang or a true sports car like an air-cooled 911. An owner of an old car might also disagree, saying something like “There is nothing like taking my -insert classic roadster name- out on a weekend, putting the top down and driving around town”, while another still will state proudly as he smiles at his rusting 1972 F-150 that “They just don’t make them like they used to”. When you ask these same people the reason the whole car starts to rattle when you idle at a red light or why it makes that funny noise every time you switch gears and has an especially sharp ‘clang’ when going from second to third, they respond that it’s the soul or character of the car and it’s part of what makes them love it.

I am not here to argue that to a particular owner these traits aren’t endearing and soul cannot exist in objects, in fact I firmly believe it can (see my bachelor thesis project Storied Objects), but most modern cars don’t need “soul” to be good. They are faster, more efficient, much more comfortable, more reliable, safer, and they have much better build quality, resulting in far fewer instances of glove boxes opening over bumps and radios that stop working because they decide one evening that they are tired of playing music. If you are an astute reader you may have noticed that I failed to mention one very important aspect of cars among the list of improvements that modern cars benefit from, and that is styling. I will also point out that modern cars are often said to not be as connected to the driver and with automatic gearboxes, electronic steering racks, and modern driving aids they are less fun, but this article is about visual design. Styling is one key area where modern cars are not predictably more successful than older cars. I am a huge fan of many cars out today, especially Volvo’s recent design gems lead by Thomas Ingenlath, but one trend which sickens me above all others is automaker’s obsession with aggression and monster-like front grilles.

Go to a dealer and look at almost any new car sold today and you will be greeted with a gaping maw that looks like it hungers for wild animals and the occasional stray child. It isn’t just sports cars, which can be more easily excused for being overly aggressive, but family cars too. The lowest hanging fruit is Lexus, whose whole lineup screeches at onlookers with their predatory mouths and alien eyes. The worst offender among its army is the LX suv; a massive people hauler for large, wealthy families.

I was never a huge fan of Lexus when this trend began so I was not overly worried, but my heart sank recently when a car I have been extremely excited for turned out to be a major disappointment because of its overwrought front end: the Audi E-Tron GT Concept. Since I first turned Audi fanboy when the R8 was revealed 2005, I have loved the sleek, sophisticated, and clean designs they have penned over their history as well as numerous cars they have produced over the last decade. In the last 10 years they have made such wonderful cars as the aforementioned R8, the first generation A7, the first generation A5, the Allroad, the second and third generation TT, and many, many more. Recently however, they too have been prioritizing aggression over beauty and simplicity.

The Audi E-tron GT is a super saloon with a curvaceous body covering a 590 horsepower electric powertrain that will be shared with its Porsche sister the Taycan. On paper it sounds fantastic and the silhouette of it really is something to behold. The car is low slung and purposeful, with wide hips, strong character lines and a sloping roofline reminiscent of the A7, which makes it look less like a sedan and more like a sports car. The front however is an overcomplicated mess filled with grilles, fins, scoops, and so many different styling cues that it is hard to understand what Audi’s team were even trying to accomplish. In recent years, Audi design in general has been too busy in my opinion, and the grilles have been scaling up noticeably to match. Despite this, most new models though not as attractive as their simpler predecessors, are if nothing else, inoffensive, as most Audis tend to be.

The E-tron has a caricature of Audi’s signature hexagon grill plastered in the center of its face which is split into two parts. The top is a light grey plastic moustache with a Nissan GTR-esque gap in the center and an off-putting wavy pattern molded into the midst of it. The bottom appears to be a black faux grille of a completely different pattern with “e-tron” distastefully smeared on top. Surrounding this centerpiece is a large glossy black extension that connects to the headlights and includes its own air intakes, each with 3 lateral slats, whose sole purpose is presumably to overcomplicate what is already overly complicated. My immediate reaction was that with such a beautiful overall form, this car completely missed the mark by adding too much to the grille. I then remembered that the E-Tron is electric and wondered why it needed a grille in the first place. I must preface this by stating I am not an engineer and I realize that batteries and motors need cooling as well, but seeing as the “grille” appears to be one solid piece of plastic and inferring from the future Porshe Taycan’s absence of a traditional grille as well as Audi’s own previous E-tron Sportback concept which was entirely lacking in the grille department, I asked myself why Audi had even bothered?

It seemed to me that the E-Tron GT Concept would have been the perfect opportunity for Audi to set their electric vehicles apart from their gas counterparts and eliminate the unnecessary grille to showcase a sleeker and more distinct style, which could carry through the range. Tesla succeeded in a similar way, so with such a wonderful foundation surely Audi could have as well. With this in mind I took to photoshop and rendered what I wish the E-Tron GT Concept had been, the goal being to change as little as possible for maximum effect. I removed the grille and replaced it with a smooth body-color hexagonal piece inspired by the E-Tron Sportback concept and added a subtle “e-tron” emboss in the lower portion. I then lengthened the black surround, effectively shrinking the air intakes, pulled back part of the headlights and simplified the LED pattern to make them less distracting, slapped on a new paint color and some less garish rims borrowed from an Audi stablemate and voile… new car.

I am not a car designer, nor am I stating that my rendition of the car is perfect, but I do think it looks more unique, sleeker, and overall is prettier with only a few small tweaks. Automakers should stop with this ridiculous trend of overcomplicated and bothersome busyness and go back to what really makes old cars better than new ones… simplicity. Because big grilles are overrated.

Thoughts